I have also enabled "Observe" & "Control" found on the "Options" button for the authorized user. On the Mac I have enabled a VNC password (click on "Computer Settings" button under Remote Management). On Linux I use the following command to connect to a Mac using VNC (xtightvncviewer is being used - I believe you can just use the tightvncviewer command as well): vncviewer Plus different versions of macOS seem to behave differently. I don't have these issues when connecting to a Linux remote system. Even when I connected to the remote Mac the graphics in the session were very slow to load and both computers are on the same LAN. When I was having trouble I was able to enter my VNC password, but a VNC window never opened.
After disconnecting from the VNC session I was unable to access the remote Mac via VNC for a while. I had to try multiple times before I was able to connect. I actually was having trouble connecting to a Mac using VNC myself.
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